Over the past few years, there's been talk of leadership styles, of whether the masculine (described as incisive, hierarchical, more militaristic) or feminine (described as non-hierarchical, networked, inclusive, compassionate) style is better suited to the world of work. Citing the unprecedented influence of technology and the Internet on commerce and corporate life resulting in "flatter" corporations, some pundits told us that the "time of the woman" is here. That emotional intelligence more than raw brainpower or specialized skills, is key to leading organizations into an increasingly networked future and that women, or those who adopted a more feminine leadership style, would be sought after to fill America's executive suites.

But no one was buying it. Until recently, no examples of senior executives lauded for such leadership traits would come to mind. Instead Jack Welch, whose recent business memoir is called Straight From the Gut, was cited as the sine qua non of successful business leadership. No one expected the CEO of a major U.S. corporation to conclude a speech to thousands of assembled employees with the comment "·you are my strength and I love you."

But that's changed. Exactly those words were uttered recently by Ken I. Chenault, the CEO of American Express, to a "town-hall" meeting of 5000 employees. Business Week reported that in the course of that meeting, Chenault demonstrated the "poise, compassion and decisiveness that vaulted him to the top." Compassion? a word not usually included in describing a captain of American industry.

Until now. Chenault spoke those words on September 20, 2001. The horrific events of September 11, 2001 and the resulting sense of uncertainty, distraction and downright fear have changed the rules regarding what style of leadership works and what doesn't. What works now is compassion, honesty, vulnerability, willingness to cry. CRY? There is no management text to tell CEOs how to guide companies and employees through turbulent times that include random acts or terror. Chenault, like most of his peers, has been operating on instinct. And he's had a good act to follow.

The example? New York's Mayor Rudolph Giuliani who, prior to September 11, 2001, was described by detractors as heavy handed, rude, mean-spirited, petty, militaristic, a "my way or the highway" macho type leader. In the face of events that literally tore Manhattan apart, Mayor Giuliani found a new voice. He was as vulnerable as we were and he said so. He was omnipresent when we needed simply to see him; in charge, but with a soothing voice, a hand outstretched in sympathy, a compassionate figure who told us that no matter how many dead were found in the rubble of the Twin Towers, it would "be too much for us to bear."

He was authentic. He was real. And he set the example. It has become appropriate to express grief, to say "I hurt," "I'm sorry," "I don't know." We look to our leaders -- nationally, locally, and within our workplaces -- to give us direction, comfort, the sense of security that "this won't happen again." We seek their protection, and we don't want them to act unfeelingly, in haste, and certainly not from rage.

I submit that Rudy Giuliani did not become a different man on September 11, 2001. He simply discovered sides of himself that he had not expressed before, perhaps unaware they existed. He didn't discard parts of his personality; he expanded his repertoire. The events of September 11 legitimized the use of other aspects of leadership-feeling over indifference or distance, compassion in place of brute power. And such leadership traits -- previously regarded as inappropriately "feminine" -- create a new level of connection between a leader and constituents, colleagues and employees. This is situational leadership, allowing for panoply of behaviors rather than a narrow by-the-book leadership style.

The challenge is to become "360' leaders" incorporating the best traits of men and women. Who are the leaders who do this best? What qualities differentiate them from others in positions of responsibility? How can you begin to embody those characteristics yourself?

Rudy Giuliani has done women a favor. He has shown that traits traditionally viewed as feminine are highly appropriate, even superior - in fact, perhaps the only traits that work -- in the kind of situation in which this City found itself September 11, 2001 and thereafter. His behavior tells us to forget the labels. Do what is appropriate - and comes naturally, authentically - for the times.

In short, we've learned that we aren't as different as we thought. Leadership is gender neutral. And that's good news for all of us.

Thank you, Rudy.